The Top 8 Ways to Manage Employees You Do Not Like: Strategies for Supervisors
We know from people manager assessment data that most managers eventually encounter employees they do not particularly like based upon things like personal differences, varying communication styles, or clashing personalities. However, disliking an employee does not mean their work is of lesser value, and personal bias should never hinder team performance or morale. Managing people effectively, despite personal feelings, is a hallmark of strong leadership.
How to Manage Employees You Do Not Like
Here is how to manage employees you do not like while maintaining professionalism, fairness, and productivity.
- Recognize and Address Your Bias
The first step to manage an employee you do not like is recognizing your personal bias. It is easy to confuse personal preferences with professional assessments but being aware of this tendency is essential. Ask yourself, “Why don’t I like this employee?” Is it their work, attitude, or simply a personality clash? This self-awareness as a manager helps prevent unconscious bias from influencing your management style.Regularly reflect on whether your feelings toward the employee impact your feedback, evaluations, or behavior. By acknowledging your biases, you can separate personal emotions from professional responsibilities.
- Focus on Performance, Not Personality
Assuming that they are not behaving incongruently with your company’s core values, one of the best strategies for managing employees you do not like is to keep the focus on clear and agreed to performance metrics and outcomes. Evaluate them based on their work results, meeting deadlines, achieving objectives, and contributing to team goals.While personality conflicts can feel significant, they should not overshadow an employee’s ability to do their job. Stay objective by setting clear, measurable goals and accountabilities for all employees. Then hold everyone to the same performance standards. This also makes it easier to identify if the employee’s work is truly lacking or if it is your personal feelings clouding your judgment.
- Maintain Professionalism
As a leader, you set the tone for how others interact within the workplace. That means always being professional and keeping your conversations neutral, respectful, and focused on work-related topics. This minimizes the risk of allowing personal emotions to spill over into your management style.Even if the relationship is strained, avoid being dismissive, sarcastic, or overly critical. These behaviors can damage team morale and create a toxic work environment. A professional attitude helps foster respect and prevents favoritism or exclusion from undermining team dynamics.
- Leverage Their Strengths
It is common for new managers to fixate on an employee’s perceived weaknesses, especially if you do not like them. Instead, challenge yourself to focus on their strengths. Every employee brings something unique to the table, and recognizing this can shift your perspective.By identifying areas where they excel, you can place the employee in positions where they are more likely to succeed. This not only improves performance but also enhances your own view of the employee, creating opportunities for a more constructive working relationship.
- Foster Open Communication
Lack of communication can often exacerbate the tension between managers and employees. Establishing an open line of dialogue with the employee you dislike can help alleviate misunderstandings.Approach conversations with curiosity and a willingness to listen, rather than judgment. You may find that their behavior is a response to certain workplace dynamics, or you may uncover ways to bridge the personal disconnect. Sometimes, simple discussions can reveal common ground or mutual respect that might not have been obvious before.
- Develop Emotional Intelligence
Effective leadership requires high emotional intelligence (EQ). This includes the ability to manage your own emotions, understand others’ emotions, and handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.Developing your EQ as a manager will enable you to better understand why you dislike certain employees and how to manage those feelings in a way that doesn’t impact team cohesion. Emotionally intelligent leaders are skilled at regulating their responses, maintaining impartiality, and promoting a positive work culture, regardless of personal preferences.
- Consider Their Perspective
Taking a moment to consider the employee’s perspective can also help shift your attitude. Be empathetic and try to see situations from their point of view. This does not mean excusing or tolerating poor behavior, but it can provide insight into their motivations, frustrations, or challenges that might otherwise go unnoticed.Understanding the employee’s mindset may help you approach interactions with more compassion and less frustration.
- Seek Outside Perspective
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may struggle to remain objective. In these cases, seeking feedback from a trusted colleague or mentor can provide an outside perspective on how to approach the situation. They may offer insights or suggestions you have not considered, helping you navigate the relationship more effectively.It is also valuable to ask yourself whether your feelings are shared by others or if they are unique to you. This can help differentiate between a personal issue and a more significant problem that needs to be addressed at an organizational level.
The Bottom Line
Managing employees you do not like can be challenging, but it is often a necessary aspect of leading effective teams. By focusing on performance, effective communications, and developing emotional intelligence, leaders can effectively manage all employees — regardless of personal feelings. Are your managers able to build constructive relationships with every team member?
To learn more about how to manage employees you do not like, download How to Deal with 3 Behaviors that Create More Conflict